she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize