remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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