My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
