im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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