no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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