The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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