The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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