ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
