i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
