I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Your cock deserves a montage
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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