See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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