This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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