Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
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