I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
