I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize