u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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