no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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