Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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