all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
