as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
