Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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