I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.