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• (513): View more from Ohio

  I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.

  (1-513): View more from Ohio

  trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"

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• (716): View more from New York

  Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.

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• (916): View more from California

  ............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.

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• (727): View more from Florida

  He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"

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• (817): View more from Texas

  But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us

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• (904): View more from Florida

  I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday

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