I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
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I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
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Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT