Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching

(586): View more from Michigan

Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)

(586): View more from Michigan

It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie

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(586): I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching (586): Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please) (586): It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie http://tfl.nu/o2c2

Replies (6) Good night (950) Bad night (1226)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.

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(860): i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him. http://tfl.nu/6b9m

Replies (9) Good night (886) Bad night (3152)
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(503): View more from Oregon

it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.

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(503): it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers. http://tfl.nu/k78j

Replies (35) Good night (839) Bad night (7576)
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(586): View more from Michigan

No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.

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(586): No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises. http://tfl.nu/ovsh

Replies (11) Good night (4730) Bad night (732)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.

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(401): Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out. http://tfl.nu/h447

Replies (10) Good night (4880) Bad night (710)
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(425): View more from Washington

They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"

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(425): They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!" http://tfl.nu/9fc7

Replies (3) Good night (3569) Bad night (860)
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(703): View more from Virginia

You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.

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(703): You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's. http://tfl.nu/9isl

Replies (16) Good night (1261) Bad night (3530)
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(360): View more from Washington

Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY

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(360): Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY http://tfl.nu/mbk8

Replies (12) Good night (2057) Bad night (1174)
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(208): View more from Idaho

i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.

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(208): i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful. http://tfl.nu/r6g5

Replies (3) Good night (608) Bad night (1952)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.

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(910): It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend. http://tfl.nu/x0gc

Replies (10) Good night (1976) Bad night (1364)
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(828): View more from North Carolina

I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.

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(828): I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water. http://tfl.nu/12pc

Replies (4) Good night (1267) Bad night (684)
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(214): View more from Texas

you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.

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(214): you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more. http://tfl.nu/8xes

Replies (3) Good night (2342) Bad night (720)
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(818): View more from California

Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?

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(818): Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs? http://tfl.nu/leke

Replies (13) Good night (1048) Bad night (718)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.

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(843): AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME. http://tfl.nu/mm0e

Replies (11) Good night (607) Bad night (1265)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.

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(832): I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head. http://tfl.nu/ufex

Replies (1) Good night (546) Bad night (376)

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