Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
