I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Randomize
