Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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