Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
