This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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