my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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