Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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