I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
