it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
