is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
