garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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