there were more penises there than on chat roulette
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
