..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
