did you get engaged???
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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