I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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