I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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