my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
BRING THE BAGELS
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
