Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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