apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize