you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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