Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
