Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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