But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize