I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
