If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
