twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
