Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I think I am morally bankrupt
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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