You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
