some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Can I color on your dick again?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
