There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
