I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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