too bad you live with your parents still
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
