That's when you crack a 10am beer
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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