Whod you bang
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
